Sunday, November 17, 2013

Ten Little-Known (and Not Perfect) Facts

Photo Courtesy of Lee Netherton
I often think of social media as “reality as seen through a lens,” because we are able to twist around our lives to project whatever public image suits us best. Not only is this misleading, but it can also be quite dangerous. It is impossible to compare your life to the lives of others if you are only seeing their highlight reels.

Therefore, inspired by the bravery of my cousin and my mother's recent Facebook posts, I am ready to share ten little-known (and not perfect) facts about myself:

1. In the past thirteen years, I have lived in sixteen different houses in ten different cities in five different states in two different countries in two different hemispheres.

2. I have accidentally surfed with great white sharks in Australia, and I have been stranded on a cliff in Death Valley and marooned in northern British Columbia after my truck hit a patch of black ice and flipped six times. Despite this, my three biggest fears continue to be alligators, snakes and Ferris wheels.

3. While I wouldn’t change a thing about my years as a nomad, my vagabonding days are definitely over.  At some point, the goodbyes began to outweigh the hellos, and I am heartsick over all the amazing souls I have had to say goodbye to through the years.

4. I often worry that an uncertain future is my payment for my years of adventures. I haven’t reached many of the “American dream” milestones my friends and family members have, and I sometimes worry I never will.

5. I appear self-assured and confident, and in some ways I am. However, I am extremely self-critical, and I often worry I am not going to live up to some imaginary ideal I have created for myself.

6. I am constantly afraid I am going to fail myself or others, and I have recently become prone to panic attacks. I see this as a sign of weakness, so I am very uncomfortable admitting it.

7. It is almost impossible for me to accept a compliment. Instead of simply saying “thank you,” I will generally try to convince you why you are wrong.

8. I often view my book deal as one of the best and worst things that has ever happened to me. I am overjoyed at having reached one of my life’s dreams, but I am also worried I will never be able to live up to my expectations.

9. I have only recently begun to develop a backbone. I grew up thinking my role in life was to solve the problems of others, so it’s very hard for me to stand up for myself without feeling like I’m being selfish or demanding.

10. I am terrified I am never going to reach my happily-ever-after, but I’m also beginning to realize true happiness only exists for those who are brave enough to never stop striving for it.

How about you??


Jaye Robin Brown said...

I'm sorry you're suffering panic attacks, Lisa Ann, but my goodness what a BIG life you've lived. And I think some of what you are experiencing is relatively normal for creative types.

I've got a few years on you, and I think the backbone you speak of just gets better. So does the worrying so much about others opinions.

As for my quirks? I really want to be liked but sometimes think I'm not really likable. But at the same time I don't really care. Which may be part of the issue - LOL :0)

I also am tired of hiding a big part of my life because of my conservative job. Nuff said. But it kills me.

alexia said...

I would totally trade your adventures for my American dream milestones... I guess we always want what we haven't yet experienced :) I too am very self critical, though confident in many ways. It's a weird mix.

Also, I don't know if you remember an email exchange we had a year or so ago about divorce, but I did decide a couple weeks ago that I need to get one. So, that's my big life changer at the moment. I've put our house on the market and am seeing how everything plays out with the sale before deciding where I'm going to live. A free fall at the moment, but it's definitely for the best.

Joe Kovacs said...

Fact #11: You are an awesome person and it's been my privilege to know you, at least virtually, over the past few years. I have to be at a conference in Florida (I think maybe Tampa, though I'm not sure) in 2015. Maybe we can meet up and grab a beer. Keep writing and keep the faith. Life is full of frights and surprises, but it's definitely worth the ride. Joe

Tez Miller said...

Ooh, which parts of Australia did you visit? (Don't think my state is known for sharks ;-) )

Crystal Collier said...

My goodness, I am right there with you on number 3. We bounced for the first 8 years of our marriage, and while we've been "settled" for a couple years now, I'm trying to ignore the itch and remind myself how great it is to be part of a community. =)

Altha Fidia Oktora said...

Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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